Hartley Wintney 0 - 0 Tanners

The good news is we won't have to play them again this season and hopefully next season either.

Hartley Witney with their own particular brand of time wasting, bus parking, pitch sloping, non grass cutting, hoofing, space oddity, park football have taken 4 points off us but the real losers are those that have to watch them every week.

Once again Hartley took their protein pills and put their helmets on to deny us a goal but this time they didn't fluke an early goal to defend. And God's love was with them as the ball never fell for us.

We missed Kane's creativity, who was unwell, and Mark Waters, who went off injured, meaning several players had to play out of position. Such was Hartley's lack of ambition that Niran was able to defend on his own for most of the game while the other 9 players tried to make a breakthrough as Major Selley tried a 1-0-9 formation.

Top of the league though still and we can commence countdown to playing Hanworth Villa on Saturday. Engines on….five…four….three….two…..

Travelling Tanners

The pressure is on us, as we are still top (I think) and we travel to Hartley Wintney in the league.

I can't make it, as I'm on a company trip shaking hands with astronauts.

Kick off at 7.30pm. Good luck fellas.

Tanners 1 - 0 Harrow Borough

For a side that had lost their last three away games, 4-1, Harrow Borough turned up and played a defensive masterclass as Leatherhead were frustrated – if not a little under pressure at time – for much of the 90 minutes.  Their goalkeeper was the most impressive, as what he lacked in physical size he made up for in athletic ability by pulling off some crucial saves to keep us out.

 

When Hogan was put through in only the second minute, it looked like Leatherhead were going to take control of the game, but his shot went straight at the 'keeper and Harrow woke up.

 

When occasion arises, I dip into a subject, and it always fills me with joy.  Collective nouns for animals.  In a previous match report, there was a pandemonium on parakeets, which matched "the confusion" of Leatherhead's attack at the time.  Today, in the first half, I was confronted with a loveliness of ladybirds behind the goal… but the only thing of such beauty on the pitch was the stunning save the 'keeper made from a Breckon shot that seemed destined for the bottom right corner.

 

Into the second half and another animal intervention when a dog, a new striker from Barking, ran on the pitch and ceased play.  I have finally seen this piece of footballing folklore.

 

We finally got our goal when the octopus of a 'keeper again saved a close range shot from Gallagher but after a brief melee, the fell to around the penalty spot to Hogan who placed his shot into the empty net.  I emphasise place, as the ball was painfully slow and I worried someone would be able to recover and save it, but it had just enough.

 

Onto Tuesday, where we play an in-form Hartley Wintney then…

Harrow Borough are coming!

Our old friends, Harrow Borough come to the Grove today as we try to keep our place at the top of the table.

The weather's so good, I'm cycling in.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Chertsey 3 - 3 Tanners (Tanners win 3-1 on penalties)

A game full of controversy and action was played out last night, proving the Surrey Senior Cup to be the best knockout trophy in the world. Upon arrival, the impressive Tuesday night crowd (of… cough… 399… cough) appeared to be in good spirits in anticipation of the game ahead.

 

By contrast to the second half, the first half was a tame affair. Leatherhead showed their intent in the first 10 minutes until Hogan received a nasty tackle on the edge of the box. The referee had already decided it was too early to issue a yellow card, as an earlier deliberate foul had also gone unpunished, and this one followed suit. Hogan then received a talking-to for not being injured enough to nearly score a "worldie" from the resulting free-kick. This seemed to take the sting out of our attack, allowing Chertsey to regain control.

 

Both opening goals came from defensive errors. Sonny managed to find the back of a defender with a clearance, and the loose ball was calmly slotted away by Karl Oliyide. 0-1. We struck back when their keeper could only palm a shot from range into the path of Breckon. 1-1.

 

As I sat down at half time and drank the most expensive cup of tea in non-league football, I genuinely thought we would come out and put this game to bed… but it looked like I was quite wrong as Oliyide raced toward a hat trick in the opening two minutes of the second half. More drama unfolded when a high ball seemed to be harmlessly landing about 30 yards out when Rileigh Hebditch (who had replaced Sonny at half-time) came out and "took the mark," inexplicably catching it about 10-15 yards outside the area. The referee came over, saw the young, apologetic keeper, must have said something like "ohhhh, you scamp," ruffled his hair a bit, and sent him back in goal, much to the annoyance of the Chertsey players.

 

The comeback really didn't look likely, so I sauntered toward the exit around the 80-minute mark. "Bye then," muttered a smug Chertsey fan just as Cameron Black thundered a header into the back of the net… 2-3. Soon after, the comeback was complete when Kane burst through the center of the area and fired in a volley. 3-3. "Auf wiedersehen, meine fraulein"…

 

I thought we had won it in the 90th minute when another Kane shot beat the keeper and appeared to hit the inside of the post, but it must have bounced back into the arms of the keeper. The referee failed to play all of the 2 minutes of extra time—which, given the four goals, substitutions, and the incident with Rileigh, seemed sparse—and sent us to penalties.

 

Since I had already moved toward the exit, I was in a prime position, behind the goal, to see the first Chertsey player place his shot well wide. I let out an involuntary laugh, a real belly laugh that drew the attention of the home supporters and made me a marked man for the rest of the shoot-out. We scored our first to make it 1-0, but there were still few Tanners supporters around me to help out if things went south. They scored, and we missed, increasing the barrage of low-level abuse coming my way.

 

Then Rileigh stepped up to save their third penalty from Oliyide, who took longer to dramatically face the other way and turn than to concentrate on actually scoring… or should I say he stepped out… A replay shows he was off his line when he made the save, but the linesman didn't give it. We scored. 2-1. From the next penalty, Chertsey hit the crossbar, and again the fans accused Rileigh of leaving his line. As the ball missed the target, unless the frame of the goal left its line early, I hardly see the relevance. We scored to make it 3-1 and sent us into the next round.

 

As a supporter of Leatherhead, I have trudged off disappointed after losing in this competition to teams like Ashford and South Park, so I was surprised at just how upset and angry the home supporters were. I had several supporters try to explain "the rules" to me, insisting that Rileigh should have been sent off for that handball, whereas the laws state nothing of the sort, as it did not deny an obvious goal-scoring opportunity. Our cameraman was at fault for something or other, as he looked bemused at the abusers while wearing hi-viz. Meanwhile, Josh Gallagher sits at home with a big glass of brandy and a wry smile.

 

Back to the league then on Saturday, with the visit of Harrow…

Travelling Tanners

Tonight we travel to our old friends, Chertsey Town, for the First Round of the Surrey Senior Cup.  Our hosts sit mid-table in the Southern Premier League and have recently parted company with their manager, Josh Gallagher… perhaps providing additional motivation for at least one of our players tonight.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 4 - 1 Ramsgate

After a few tight wins we thought a thumping was going to be handed out at Binfield. Instead that game was another tight win, and the hammer fell on Ramsgate as the Tanners showed a kind of magic on the fields of Fetcham Grove.

The Rams took the lead on 18' as we played a bit too deep and were under pressure giving the visitors from a higher division a bit too much respect. At an impromptu drinks break the gaffer told that the lads that he wanted them to break free.

This started a much more attacking mindset and just before the break the superb Mark Walters on 40' and the rampant Anas on 44' sent us into the break with a 2-1 lead.

The 2nd half saw the best 45 minutes of the season in which the lads don't stop me now attitude saw Billy and Jordan add 2 more.

So another one bites the dust in the FA Trophy but the show must go on at Chertsey on Tuesday night as we start the trail to claim we are the champions in the Surrey Senior Cup.

In the side that Ian Selley has assembled we all have somebody to love. These are the days of our lives.